Sometimes I think I'm going mad

I just ate some meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and a fresh bun from the Cafe here at work. It was good. Then I got thirsty, so I went to the coffee station down the hall from my office to get some water. I decided I also wanted some tea, so here's what I did: I got 2 styrofoam cups, and I filled one with hot water and a tea bag, and the other with cold water.

On the short walk back to my office, it occurred to me that in my two hands I embodied right and left, dark and light, hot and cold, flavor and... not? And somehow my brain decided that the tea is female and the cold water is male. It seems to make so much sense right now... I suppose I will read this in a few hours or days and think I was really nuts.

Humps and Lumps???

This week I was unwittingly exposed to a song by the Black Eyed Peas called "My Humps". It's terrible. Easily one of the worst songs I have ever heard. Easily. The lyrics can be found here, and don't worry, the "music" isn't much to write home about. You'll get the gist of it just reading it.

Anyway, the only reason I know this song exists is because AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) has this annoying thing where it sometimes decides I might want to watch a music video, so it pops open a window in itself and starts playing said video, sound and all. It's ultra-annoying. This week, I was subjected to "My Humps". As you have by now read in the lyrics, the song basically goes on and on about the beautiful curves of a woman's body - only it refers to them as "humps" and "lumps." Am I the only one who thinks these words just don't seem right? It occurred to me this afternoon that "hump" makes me think of a hunchback or a camel, and "lump" makes me think of breast cancer.

So this song is about a woman who thinks her hunchback and breast cancer are totally sexy, and the men seem to agree. Yuck.

I wish I could wipe out my brain so I didn't have to know this garbage exists, and that somehow, inexplicably, it's popular with the kids.