Left Brain, Right Brain

Yesterday I was feeling so stressed at work, it was starting to make me feel physically ill. By the time I got home, I was in a terrible mood, and I snapped at Jon a little bit for something so minor I can't even remember what it was. It was all so fast I don't know if he even noticed it, becasue then I stormed out again and went to the store to buy some thread. When I came back, Jon was out in the garage doing something to his car so I parked in the driveway. When I got out of my car, he got a good look at me and said, "You look absolutely miserable!" and I said, "I am." He asked why, and I said I'd had a terrible day at work, and he hugged me and asked what happened and I told him I didn't even feel like talking about it, and then I went inside and crashed on the couch to cry the stress out a little bit.

Jon followed me in and sat right by me, rubbing my back and neck and letting me cry it out. He didn't ask questions, he didn't try to make me talk, and he didn't try to make things "better." He did everything exactly right.

As much as he likes to tease me, he still does the right things at the right times. (And actually, I kind of like it when he teases me! I guess that's why he does it - hah!)

While today has been pretty quiet at work, I've had 2 or 3 phone calls, and maybe 2 or 3 people stop into my office with questions & stuff... this is FAR more than I'm used to. Usually my phone never rings, and I get maybe 3 visits a week from people who need something from me.

What really is bothering me is that each time someone stopped in today, even if it was just dropping off an expense report and having a little smalltalk, I had a mini panic attack EVERY SINGLE TIME. Like just 10 minutes ago, someone came in and was asking about why the department P-card wasn't working when they tried to make a purchase with it yesterday. I didn't know why. I'd made a purchase with it this afternoon with no problem, so I know it wasn't over limit. But my arms and legs are just tingling, I can feel my heart thumping and I have a ringing in my ears and kind of a tunnel-vision thing going on. This has happened every single time I got a visit or a phone call today.

I wonder why.