This Weekend

[amberica]

Finally got to the Cities this weekend to see Jon. I feel a TON better in ALL ways. Things will be weird, not being able to see him for the next month due to Kathryn's wedding and my stupid work schedule. It was hard enough just going these last 2 weeks. I think I can manage ok. I sure hope I can. I think a big part of the reason this last 2 week stretch was so hard is because of the most recent letter I got from Terrence. Those always really destroy me and make me start questioning things in my life that I should believe and trust. I told him this, and he told me that he doesn't want to be causing that kind of trouble for me, and for my relationship with Jon. He said he will stop writing those kinds of letters, and I actually believe him this time. There is nothing more that can be said on either side. He knows exactly where I stand, and there is nothing more for him to say without repeating himself now. He feels that he is done, that this last letter was the conclusion of all of them. It seemed to be that. We are all coming to terms with things as they are. Terrence and I did not work in the real world, and never would have. Jon and I work in all ways that I can conceive of, and Terrence is well aware of this.

When I was with Jon this weekend, I could feel the future. It felt good, like real life. Like where I should be and where I should stay. He told me he adores me. Even just typing those words makes me smile as I sit here avoiding bedtime. I love him. I really do.