Clumsy Girl

[amberica]

Yesterday I ALMOST got my third-ever self-inflicted black eye. That's right, third. That's right, ALMOST.

I was at home for lunch, ripping seams in a pair of jeans to make a skirt, and I socked myself right in the eyeball with my fist. I saw a giant starburst in that eye. Didn't take time to think or holler or cry, I just ran as fast as I could to the freezer and threw a bag of frozen peas on my eye. I could feel that although most of the strength of the hit got my actual eyeball, there was significant tenderness on the bones just above and below it too, and I was hoping to prevent as much swelling and bruising as possible.

I did a pretty good job. The swelling under the eye was SO minimal I could not really even see it myself, and no bruising ever happened! I was 5-10 minutes later getting back to the office than I wanted to be, but I think this was a good excuse.

My first black eye ever was when I was in 8th grade. We were in gym class and stretching or something, and I was acting goofy and bent over really fast and slammed my eye right into my knee. Heh. Whoops. That was not a very bad one.

My second black eye happened the day before I went back to school for the first semester of my sophomore (or maybe junior) year in college. For some reason my bike was at my parents' house, and I wanted to take it back to my apartment across town so I could ride it to campus since I lived pretty close. I was struggling to get it into the trunk of my car, and my dad kept offering to help, but being ever the stubborn girl and shouting my eternal catchphrase, "NO! I can do it MYSELF!", I picked that bike up and HIT MYSELF DIRECTLY IN THE FACE WITH IT! (What actually happened is that I was holding on to only the main frame of the bike, and the front handlebars rotated around really fast with the weight of the wheel, and one of them hit me in the eye.)

So I iced it and stuff, but I got a nice shiner out of that one. It was kind of funny - back at school, everyone wanted to know what happened. Most of the time I just said, "I hit myself in the face with a bike," but sometimes I just said, "You should see the OTHER guy!" (I think most of you remember that I went through a phase in my early and mid twenties where many people called me "Bar Fight.") Even so, I always ended up telling the truth. I didn't want anyone thinking I had actually gotten hit!

So those are my black eye stories. These are some MAJOR reasons that I refer to myself as a clumsy girl. And I am not one bit ashamed about that. I am who I am, and I love the ME!

Comments

Speaking of black eyes.....

[amberica.livejournal.com]

frino, my favorite black eye story is actually not mine... the one from last year, July 9th. ;) I won't tell it, in case you want to... but it's a memorable one!