Commentary by James Randi

[amberica]

The James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) is an educational resource on the (general debunking of) paranormal, pseudoscientific and the supernatural. The following is an excerpt that I found EXTREMELY funny from the 1-17-03 newsletter here.

"It's pretty hard to understand folks who can accept and observe some of the rules found in the Bible, Koran, Popul Vuh, and other "sacred" books, while simply ignoring others. A reader has sent me this purported letter from a confused Bible student, showing his dilemma very clearly as he prepared to go home for Xmas. I spared you this at the holiday season...


My teacher has told me all the answers that I need are in the Bible, and I believe that. Determined to be a good Christian, I'm up at Bible college right now, but I'm going home on Friday and I need some advice.
Now, my dad and I are thinking about selling my sister off into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's in college, pretty smart, very attractive, she has good manners and she's very friendly. What price do you think we could get for her on the open market?

After we get that finished, I have another problem. My father keeps insisting on going to the office to do some work every Sunday after church gets out. Exodus 35:2 says that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill my father myself? I don't really want to do that, I love him a lot. So, should I call in someone else?

Here's another problem: My hometown football team has made it to the playoff game, but I'm worried about them. Leviticus 11:7 says that touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Can they still play in the playoff game? Should we get rid of footballs and use something else?

Also, does the entire town really have to get together to stone my Uncle Herald for planting different crops side by side? He's farmed his whole life and knows this is good for the land. Thing is, there are over 2,500 people in my town and it's going to be hard to get them all together to stone my uncle to death.

Last thing, I noticed my mom has a sweatshirt that is 50% cotton and 50% polyester. Do we really need to burn her to death with a small family gathering for wearing garments made of two different threads? It wouldn't be Christmas without mom.

I hope you can answer these questions for me before I have to go home on Friday. Thanks for the help!!!"

Comments

[onewomanshow.livejournal.com]

I've seen this before! It's hilarious! :D

[amberica.livejournal.com]

Heck yes it is! Jon wants to know how much that sister might go for on Ebay - lol.

As long as I'm here, I gotta ask - How come you are emailing and LiveJouraling and stuff during the day, but you are never on any instant messengers?