How to Shower Meme

[amberica]

How to Shower Like a Woman:

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  
• Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
  
• If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  
• Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
  
• Get in the shower.
  
• Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
  
• Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  
• Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
  
• Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
  
• Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  
• Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  
• Rinse conditioner off hair.
  
• Shave armpits and legs.
  
• Turn off shower.
  
• Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  
• Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  
• Get out of shower.
  
• Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  
• Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  
• Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  
• If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like a Man:

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  
• Walk naked to the bathroom.
  
• If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
  
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  
• Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
  
• Get in the shower.
  
• Wash your face.
  
• Wash your armpits.
  
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  
• Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  
• Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  
• Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  
• Pee.
  
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
  
• Partially dry off.
  
• Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
  
• Admire wiener size in mirror again.
  
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
  
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
  
• If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
  
• Throw wet towel on bed.
  

Comments

[imogen-blue.livejournal.com]

funnily enough i do spray the tiles sometimes after i shower. ;o)

[frino.livejournal.com]

OMG! That was so funny!! Thanks for making me laugh! :~)